Sometimes I wonder

[chani]

What's the point? What's the point in doing this LJ thing again? 

I can't tell you how many times I have been about to quit. 

Because I had a dream, you know. It was to create a place where we could gather and discuss screen stuff around a virtual cup of tea.  I wanted to use the web in order to hold a salon as Julie de Lespinasse or La marquise du Deffand did in the 18th century. We would have discussed movies and television as their guests used to discuss books and ideas of the Enlightement at the time.

But overall I failed. 

The only times people really gathered in here were when the topic was about kinks or about commenting/lurking/de-friending because they felt curious, teased or in need of explaining themselves...which means they came when it was not a salon but rather a playground. It was cool, but it wasn't what this LJ was supposed to be.

 I've indulged myself with playground stuff, I've posted memes when they were connected to the Jossverse or to movies, or just because I knew some of "my friends" liked to learn things about their flist and it was a way to connect -which is good- but I could have done the very same thing on their LJ. 

I'm all for the Internet to be a place of sociability, but it's something I can have elsewhere, on boards, on my friends' LJ...


So what's the point? 

Why should I keep on updating? Does anyhting of this  still worthwhile? Has it ever been?

I can't help thinking that somehow, somewhere, I made a mistake or somewhat lost my way...

Comments

[psubrat.livejournal.com]

Hon, I think you've hit what most of us have gone through at one time or another here. Why are we here? I came here originally to meet other people in the fandom -- to know that there were truly nice people left. I found that. But some days it wasn't enough, ya know? Then I finally decided that I'm here for me...to document my life. If people stay, that's great. If they don't, that's fine too. I just wish I had more time to devote to commenting and posting, but right now my time is very limited. Just know that I still love you and I still read your journal...even if I don't always comment. ::hugs::

[so-sharlemaine.livejournal.com]

Well you and I are on the same wavelength today. I've been thinking the same thing. Wondering why and what the fuck.

I guess people are just busy or moving on or something. I think there's a core group of us that will always be here, but the outer ring will come and go.

I'm not feeling the best about LJ today either. I've been pretty pissed off this morning, to tell you the truth. But that's not making things any better, so I don't know. I don't know what to think. But if it helps any, I'm feeling the same way you are.

[rahirah]

When I post something, it's because I want to talk about something. Sometimes it's frivolous, sometimes it's serious. Most times, it's nothing that someone else hasn't already said somewhere else. But nonetheless, I want to talk about it. It's always wonderful when someone else wants to talk about it with me, but if they don't, they don't.

It's LJ as a whole that's the party, not any one individual journal--each journal is one person at that party, joining a conversation in progress here, starting a new conversation there. And conversations bloom and grow and die away and start up again somewhere else, or flare into arguments, or devolve into flirting. No one of us is so brilliant and commanding that the whole party will focus on us at all times--if we're lucky, we get a few moments where all other conversation dies away because everyone is listening to us, but they're only moments, and they pass. And the conversation moves elsewhere, to other topics. And it's not that we've done anything wrong, but that there's just so many other things out there to see and hear and talk about.

If you want to talk, talk. And don't worry about who's listening.

[kazzy-cee.livejournal.com]

I enjoy your posts Laurence, and I don't just mean the memes and the updates about the Jossverse.

It's interesting why you decided to start an Lj. I don't think many people have a 'plan' as such. I started it because I used to keep a journal when I was younger, and this is a nice way of sharing experiences, but also writing down things that I want to remember (which I actually tend to keep private). I'm so much quicker at typing, that I feel at least I'm leaving something of myself as I go through life.... one day perhaps my children and my husband will read it all...?

If you don't feel like posting, I think it's quite reasonable not to do so, and definitely not feel obliged to do so - especially if you are on boards and comment on others Ljs.

*hugs you*

[comava.livejournal.com]

I very much agree with what rahirah said, who put it much better than I could.

I know a lot of people roll their eyes at LJ and write it off as superficial or self-centered, and that usually frusterates me a bit. Or how on that poll of Aurra's, when so many people mentioned how they "unfortunately" had an LJ. LJ isn't a bad thing, it's not something one should feel ashamed of. It can be whatever you want it to be, even though it may not always turn out that way. On the whole, I think it's a good thing, at least I don't think the bad parts outweigh the good. At the very least, you're writing down your thoughts, and I like writing down my thoughts because I'm afraid I might forget them otherwise.

I know this doesn't really tie in to what you're saying. I guess I'm trying to say that because you "failed" in your vision doesn't have to be a reason to quit the LJ project alltogether. I for one, would miss your posts.

[frances-lievens.livejournal.com]

I don't think you have lost your way, but notice the same thing on my own LJ. Whenever I write a well thought through argument, I hardly get any comments, but I do get comments when I whine and bitch or talk about sex. Maybe it's the nature of LJ, a different nature then other blogs, for LJ is renowned for its whiny and teenage-journal-like content. I have never thought of quitting and try to write a decent post once in a while, but I notice I'm slipping too. The good posts are getting a bit scarce in between the personal yapping. I don't think you failed, dear friend, I think we failed you.

*bisous*

[db2305.livejournal.com]

Have you ever visited this site:

http://www.teaattheford.net/

That's where conversations such as you want to have take place all the timte...Have a look around, there's an incredible amount of material...

[jamalov29.livejournal.com]

I think it was a lovely and ambitious idea to make your LJ a place where people would gather to talk about movies or books. And I don't think 'you' failed. It's not your own fault.
Simply people don't necessarily see the same movie at the same time or read the same book. Or they don't have something interesting to say about it , or they don't dare saying anything because they believe their opinions aren't worth sharing.

I don't know why some posts generate a great number of comments , and others just a few or none. I have no explanation .. There are some Big names that always draw people to them , of course , but otherwise we 're all in the same boat.

I entirely agree with what rahirah said to you. Lj is beyond anything else a place where you talk freely of what takes your fancy. People will read or not , will comment or not , but in the end that's not really the point. I mean when it's not about fic or artworks , or meta!

So you should stay that way : share your thoughts , give your impressions of movies or books you enjoyed , and don't care who will answer.
You know I think we're always read by others , but commenting is another matter.

Cette année , je n'ai même pas suivi le festival de cannes. je suis incapable de te citer un seul film en compétition ( à part da Vinci Code) .. Je ne vais plus au cinéma , je ne regarde aucune série à la télé (ni rien en général ) , je lis et j'écris toute la sainte journée , coupée du monde.

Allez , j'espère que tu verras les choses plus positivement demain. Mais tu devrais poster quand çà te chante , et ne pas te forcer , cela est sûr.

je t'embrasse.

[jerusha]

Honestly, I think it depends on what you wanted LJ to be. If it's getting you down because it isn't the experience that you wanted, then maybe it is time to give up. We would miss you, and that would be too bad, but there it is. On the other hand, maybe it's time to reassess what you want it to be.

Whatever your decision happens to be, I hope that you find happiness with it.

[the-shebeen.livejournal.com]

You don't know me since I mainly just drop in and lurk on your journal from time to time.

I pretty much agree with what you say about LJ. I mainly use it to keep up with other people, but I post private entries for myself. Frankly I think most LJers are a fickle bunch, and the fandom-oriented ones in particular.

Personal thoughts and in-depth commentaries pretty much go under the radar unless you've got a large, built-in readership. For the most part, I think people come to LJ for amusement and distraction from the annoyances of their daily lives, so anything that doesn't amuse (unless it's a cry for help) is just skipped over.

I'd also make allowances for the 'I have absolutely no idea what to say to this' contingent. People do read posts, but to go the extra bit and respond to it? It's easier to comment on something silly and light than on something personal and thoughtful.

Just my €.02.

[chrissie-linnit.livejournal.com]

I use my LJ as just that... a journal. An on-line diary of sorts. My life is not very interesting, but by committing my thoughts to a place, I feel as if I have a sense of existence. An impersonal ether, as safe as a locked diary but, open to the eye of any stranger who might come across it. It's safe, and a fine confidant.

I'm delighted that I've found a small group of people who like me enough, despite learning possibly far more than they'd really like about me, to interact with me... empathise, criticise, argue and counter argue. Most of my stuff is family tosh, but I do occasionally ramble on about the lack of any real debates like we used to get on the BC&S Board.

I think the reason is because LJ is NOT a discussion forum. It's really a collection of individual journals, isn't it? And any entries posted to an LJ are dependent upon the FList, and any passing lurkers, finding the author's comments stimulating enough to enter into a discussion.

When you review films, I'm at a loss. I can't comment on films because I rarely go to the cinema. I occasionally comment on meta, especially when the post stimulates me. I think what you would like to get from LJ just isn't there consistently enough. LJ is too personal and individual a tool for that.

We need to go back to the Boards for intellectual stimulus, I fear. I do miss the 'healthy' debates and discussions we used to have and I'm surprised that more of the Jossverse writers themselves don't miss the intellectual stimulus - although I note more and more are new since I left BC&S and there a fewer and fewer of the Old School writers left.. could that be a contributory factor, too? Maybe the fanfiction writers frequent places we don't know about to get the intellectual stimulation?

How's BC&S doing lately?

[pjzallday.livejournal.com]

Oh dear...

Chani, I love to read your posts both the deep and the fluffy. You challenge me to think and you bring a smile to my face (sometimes when I REALLY need one).

[joey-b.livejournal.com]

I think that, and will be the first to put my hand up for being one of them, most people want to have discussions in their own LJ. Kind of a terrortorial thing if that makes sense.

I always read your posts but you and also Frances take my breath away sometimes, I feel that you are both far more intellectual than me, you have such good points to make, and such prolific things to say sometimes, that if I posted to discuss your serious posts every time, I'd probably not have much worth saying.
That doesn't mean I'm not interested, because I read these posts and enjoy doing so, but half the time I've not seen the film or tv program myself, so can't comment - eg with LOST, I'm expecting episodes 13-finale to arrive this week, then I'm going to watch the whole lot again. I'll come and discuss that with you at your place when I've seen it, but again, your comments and opinions are so much more thought out than mine, I really do just like to listen.
I would greatly miss your posts and now I've just come back, you can't go!

Maybe you could set up another forum on Voy? TG did it and some others there. You could have a general discussion board on Voy and invite people from your LJ and the BC&S and others. Or create an LJ community. As I said, to get the virtual cafe in your LJ where people discuss stuff is harder, as people are all wanting that in there own LJ, if you have a community or board, people will go there for that reason.

I do think personal LJ's are a self-obsessed thing, and I don't mean that in a bad way - everyone who has a personal LJ obviously wants a way to share things with people that otherwise they wouldn't share - as Chrissie said, without the risk. For me, it's a way to keep in touch with a few people I miss from the BC&S and to have a moan or share a concern, or generally be silly, each time knowing that someone out there is likely to read it at some point, and be silly back, just listen, reassure me, or generally have a giggle!

I don't think you should give up your LJ, but I do think you should consider creating a voy forum for film and tv discussion, or even an LJ community that people can join. With your posts my dear, it will definitely be a good read.

"If you build it, they will come........"

love you babe!

[elizabeth-cs.livejournal.com]

khe-khe-khe, I read and comment. Not my fault I don't watch Lost, but everything else interests me. Hey, am I not 'people' enough? :-)

[candlelightfrot.livejournal.com]

Well... if you put Chani into this thing... this comes out...

Penis Name Generator (http://www.blogthings.com/penisnamegenerator/)

I'd say that was enough to continue on right there!
...

[prophecygirrl.livejournal.com]

I feel like singing "Hey Jude" to you. You wouldn't leave and make the world a little colder, would you?

I am sorry you are feeling down, but the internet, and LJ in general, is a very weird social space. I can see where the fb you get from it would sometimes not be enough. But I do appreciate your voice, and your willingness to share ideas. The idea of a salon has merit, even if you haven't gotten the response you want out of it, and it's near and dear to my heart. I hope you find a place for it in your life.