Sometimes I wonder

[chani]

What's the point? What's the point in doing this LJ thing again? 

I can't tell you how many times I have been about to quit. 

Because I had a dream, you know. It was to create a place where we could gather and discuss screen stuff around a virtual cup of tea.  I wanted to use the web in order to hold a salon as Julie de Lespinasse or La marquise du Deffand did in the 18th century. We would have discussed movies and television as their guests used to discuss books and ideas of the Enlightement at the time.

But overall I failed. 

The only times people really gathered in here were when the topic was about kinks or about commenting/lurking/de-friending because they felt curious, teased or in need of explaining themselves...which means they came when it was not a salon but rather a playground. It was cool, but it wasn't what this LJ was supposed to be.

 I've indulged myself with playground stuff, I've posted memes when they were connected to the Jossverse or to movies, or just because I knew some of "my friends" liked to learn things about their flist and it was a way to connect -which is good- but I could have done the very same thing on their LJ. 

I'm all for the Internet to be a place of sociability, but it's something I can have elsewhere, on boards, on my friends' LJ...


So what's the point? 

Why should I keep on updating? Does anyhting of this  still worthwhile? Has it ever been?

I can't help thinking that somehow, somewhere, I made a mistake or somewhat lost my way...

Comments

[comava.livejournal.com]

I very much agree with what rahirah said, who put it much better than I could.

I know a lot of people roll their eyes at LJ and write it off as superficial or self-centered, and that usually frusterates me a bit. Or how on that poll of Aurra's, when so many people mentioned how they "unfortunately" had an LJ. LJ isn't a bad thing, it's not something one should feel ashamed of. It can be whatever you want it to be, even though it may not always turn out that way. On the whole, I think it's a good thing, at least I don't think the bad parts outweigh the good. At the very least, you're writing down your thoughts, and I like writing down my thoughts because I'm afraid I might forget them otherwise.

I know this doesn't really tie in to what you're saying. I guess I'm trying to say that because you "failed" in your vision doesn't have to be a reason to quit the LJ project alltogether. I for one, would miss your posts.

[frenchani.livejournal.com]

Well, you may remember that I was rather anti-LJ once upon a time. I found it weird because it was the opposite of diaries used to be...personal journal were secret (they even had a lock and a key once upon a time)and suddenly they were online! I thought that LJ was a bit like reality shows or rather was the expresison of the same social tendancy...Above all, I was upset because so many fans left Buffy boards, withdrawing to LJ. I'm still a forum girl rather than a LJ person.

Maybe that's why I'm so sad that I failed in "my vision", in what I tried to turn my LJ into, because if I couldn't make it what I wanted it to be, what is left is something I don't really need. I do understand that many people enjoy LJ for what it is and if it suits your expectations, it's good indeed.

But *I* am frustrated at the moment and the only LJ thing I still really enjoy is to keep in touch with people I don't see anywhere else.

Having said that, I may change my mind and decide that simply posting MY thoughts on a film or a series is worth it.

[chrissie-linnit.livejournal.com]

...personal journal were secret (they even had a lock and a key once upon a time)and suddenly they were online!

You see, this is where I want to challenge you, pet. As far as I can see, LJ is actually a far more secure way of writing a personal diary than having a locked book in the bedroom. Here on the ether, I am 100% sure that not one single person I am linked to in my physical life is aware of my LJ id, how to access it if they were aware, and what my password is should they actually stumble across my id and www.livejournal.com

Were I to have a personal diary at home, it would be very easy to identify it and open it should someone be curious. I would positively NOT have said a great deal of what I've shared on LJ in a diary... the risk of causing pain and suffering to certain people in my RL would be too great to contemplate.

No... I think LJ is a very, very secure place for someone to open up and say things that otherwide would keep locked away inside themselves. A great place to get it off your chest (and boy, is mine a big one!)

Perhaps, if you have a very harmonious and close family, lots of friends in RL and a busy and active social life, LJ becomes less attractive. Not that I'm saying everyone uses LJ as a personal diary - although I'd wager a big percentage of users do use it as a virtual soap-box from where to raise issues and observations they would otherwise never have voiced. So, I think there's something rather therapeutic about LJ. Why write it down in a diary when you can share it without risk? The only thing one needs is to be accepting that someone out there might be interested enough to comment and you have to be prepared to accept the variable consequences...

I can see that LJ would need to adapted to meet other needs to remain a desired leisure activity if it most obvious benefit is not what's desired by the user. Then, I think there is the opportunity to create an LJ account, with memberships. But any success is then dependent upon there being sufficient like-minded individuals to keep such a community alive.

[frenchani.livejournal.com]

You see, this is where I want to challenge you, pet. As far as I can see, LJ is actually a far more secure way of writing a personal diary than having a locked book in the bedroom.

I never said it wasn't secure, I only said it was not secret, was not meant to be secret. The fact people could come across your journal in RL is irrelevant here, btw I don't want to scare you but LJ is not 100% secure either, LJ can be hijacked and I know someone whose LJ has been found out(by co-workers!), there's always a risk to be discovered by someone-who-isn't-supposed-to-see when you write something down. But it's simply a matter of different purposes I meant to point out.

Personal journals used to be for the writers' eyes only. LJ entries are "displayed" online while old diaries were carefully hidden. You used the verb "share", Chrissie. Thoughts, secrets, written on a diary weren't meant to be shared while LJ by nature is all about publicity.

I know that many LJers say they write mostly for themselves, and I believe them actually, it's definitely a mirror. However they write online and don't usually make the entries private, so they basically expose themselves to others' eyes, they seek them even. I am not saying it's wrong (you explained very well how therapeutic it can be), only that it's revealing a social tendancy and it's completely different from what a diary used to be...

The only similarity I can find would be with "journals" made by professional writers, or celebs, and meant to be published as books...made to be published actually. Or diaries written by people who might have thought that through their journal they would remain something of their life after they passed away. Although there's still a big difference and it lies in the immediacy that the Internet gives, and the reciprocity that LJ provides with its commenting tool.

Immediacy is also a symptomatic of our current society.

[comava.livejournal.com]

True, it is a bit odd. I still have a paper journal (though not with lock and key, I trust those around me!) where the truly private things go. But I have less trouble being open to people who don't know me in RL than to those who do, so I don't have many qualms about LJ.

I never thought to compare LJ to reality shows, although there are certainly parallels. But reality shows these days are fake all over, whereas I think LJ, or at least the portion of it I deal with, is much more real.

I see what you mean, though. I would like to continue to see your thoughts here (and besides, here is where they'll stay, while on boards they'll end up in archives and eventually get lost) but it's your decision. And I can still see you on Voy anyhow! :-)