Also what you wrote made me think...I don't think that you have to give yourself soul and body when you love someone. Because if you give yourself, you lose yourself. It sounds like an alienation for me. It's precisely why I could never 'ship Bangel. Both Buffy and Angel lost themselves in one another. Angel was right when he left.

I think that love should be about giving love, an unconditional love that doesn't demand reciprocity, not about giving oneself to anyone. It's also about opening up, letting someone in, taking someone with you on a journey, in your body, in your life, in your heart, in your head.

I 'ship Spuffy because Buffy didn't lose herself when loving Spike. Au contraire, Buffy found herself again, first through pain and violence in season 6 and later in "Touched". She remained true to herself, yet he was in her life, in her heart, on her mind (she was concerned about him) and probably still under her skin. And when it mattered she was there for him in season 7.

Over the long haul they were good for each other.

Spike was wrong in "Crush" when he said there was nothing left but her. Loving Dru was definitely an alienation, he gave himself to her, lost himselef then and became a monster for her, forgetting who the good man used to be, but loving Buffy led him to realize that he was not his own man in SR, so he went to get his soul back.

And I'm sure that even though she was in Italy, Buffy was still with Spike in Ats season 5. She was in his heart and in his thoughts.