chani: (OZ)
chani ([personal profile] chani) wrote2012-08-21 02:35 pm

The silly post

It's all [personal profile] selenak 's fault because she got me thinking about Breaking Bad and possible crossovers.

1) Breaking Bad/Buffy.

Sunnydale High: Walt is a chemistry teacher, Giles is a librarian. Walt thinks that Buffy needs to apply herself, Giles knows she's busy at night, slaying vampire and stuff.

Finally Giles gets in Ripper mode to defend his slayer while Walter reveals his inner Heisenberg;

Walt: I'm the one who knocks!
Giles blowing the door open: I'd like to test that theory!

Walt: You think you're a badass, Mr Giles, I killed Krazy-8 with my bare hands!
Giles: I killed Ben with ONE hand!

Walt: I let Jane die in her vomit because she was a bad influence on Jesse!
Giles: I let Principal Wood try to kill Spike, and helped him by distracting Buffy!

Walt: I lied to Jesse and poisoned Brock behind his back!
Giles: I poisoned Buffy, made her helpless and thus almost had her kill by some psycho vampire!

Eventually Jesse and Buffy decide they don't need a surrogate father anymore.

Subplot: Jesse and Spike have a conversation about robots.

2) Breaking Bad/OZ

Walt and Jesse have been found guilty and sentenced to spend years in jail...in Emerald City. Soon enough an ego contest starts between Walter White and Kareem Said.

Said: You are a drug dealer, I despise you. Your sins are big Walter.
Walt: My product was purest than you are!
Said: I know you killed Antonio Nappa with ricin.
Walt: It wasn't ricin. He blew himself when hitting the bell. You're mixing up your tv shows!
Said: My books were best-sellers. I'm a legend. You are a failure.
Walt: I'm a genius! Everybody knows it now!
Said: I'm a leader of men, I help them while you are toxic. Jesse needs to be helped. I helped Beecher, I can help him.
Walt: Jesse is mine. Stay out of my territory!
Said: Your surname is White and you stole Schillinger's look!
Walt: I have cancer!
Said: You don't understand, Shillinger is going to rape your boy.
Walt: Okay, let's team up, I have a plan to get rid of the Aryans.

Meanwhile Ryan O'Reilly is drug-dealing and plotting like Iago, and manages to turn Jesse against Walt.

3) Breaking Bad/BSG

There's a blue meth that is spreading in the fleet. Viper pilots think it's better than stims, but they get addicted. Adama is worried. He asks for Baltar's help because it's science and Gaius is a genius...Gaius promises he can manufacture something better and less addictive.

Walt is furious and jealous because he is the true genius, Baltar is just a dandy!

Jesse comes up with a bright idea to defeat centurions. "yeah magnets!"

Laura and Walter bond over cancer. Gaius is jealous.

Finally, Gaius and Walt bond over being attracted to tall and authoritarian blonde women, and also over their urge to protect Hera and Jesse while they are not blood-related to them. Gaius asks Walt if he sees head!characters too. Walt says he only sees flies.

Jesse and Lee bond over their daddy and mommy issues.

Saul and Walt bond over hair loss and unfaithful wives.

Saul, Chief, Tori and Sam keep hearing a weird music when they are on the blue meth.

Saul and Lee bond over lawyering...ok not really!

Helo finds out that Walter White is Heisenberg.

Eventually Roslin sentences Walter White to be airlocked.


4) Breaking Bad/The Wire

When Walt was teaching chemistry In Baltimore, he befriended Prez.

He also had an adult course in the evening. Stringer Bell took his class. Walt saw potential in him.

Later Stringer Bell dropped science class to business class.

When Walter is looking for Jesse in the junkies house, he doesn't recognise Dukie...

Jesse and Di Angelo do some soul-searching together:

Jesse says "we have to quit the game", Di Angelo replies "Most Def"

Omar shows up, whistling, shoots Todd and Mike, and robs Heisenberg.

Saul does not bond with Levi.

Bunk meets Skyler in a bar, they get drunk and end up in bed together.

Lester Freamon and Jimmy McNulty casually ask Hank whether he still has Tuco's dental grilled...



5) Breaking Bad/Deadwood

At first Al Swearengen is truly puzzled by Walter White.

Cy wants to work with Walt, but you don't bullshit a bullshitter. After trying to blackmail Walt, Cy ends up tied up in mine. Walt strangles him with a horseshoe.

Walt thinks that he can use the Bella Union as a cover for his new superlab.

Walt wants Hearst's empire. He invites him for dinner. Ricin is on the menu...

Al and Walt eventually sigh together about hoopleheads and methheads and compare notes about body disposal:

Al: Whu's pigs are efficient.
Walt: I prefer hydrofluoric acid.
Al: And what do you use for blood stains on the floor?

Alma tries the blue stuff...she likes it!

Seth Bullock is angry, grows wary of Walter White and thinks that his hat is way cooler than Heisenberg's.

Martha Bullock doesn't like Walter White either but she can't understand the reason...She wants to adopt Jesse, though.

Jesse is the darling of all the whores but also gets to fuck Alma, and even Joanie and Jane. Pretty boys like him are a rare treat in Deadwood.
But not Trixie because Trixie would never cheat on Sol (;- ))

Doc Cochrane tells Walt that the cancer is back.

E.B is in despair because he was left-out.


I only imagined BrBa cross-overing with the other hows from my personal tv pantheon but of course a cross-over with Justified would be delightful, if only to see Badger and Skinny Pete looking suddenly so smart when sharing a scene with Dewey Crowe! Also I would have liked to see Walter White in front of Mags Bennet! Or having Walt defend himself by saying that what he did was justified and Raylan retorting: hey that's my line!

But even though those 'verses seem to be the closest, Raylan Givens is too strong for our Albuquerque guys. Walt would have never made it through 4 seasons.