Jan. 23rd, 2013

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Bastet died this morning at 7.25 am on my bed.

I really didn't expect it, for I have been focused on Loukoum's illness, but she was very unwell since 4 am, and her last hour was really hard to watch. It was an ordeal, as I was all by myself and the emergency vet didn't make it fast enough to ease her passing. There was little I could do except talking to her and petting her the more gently I could.

I knew she was very old so it was going to happen soon or later, but we have been together for 19 years which is almost half of my life. Our bond ran very deep. She was both my baby and my friend. To say that I will miss her is an understatement. The grief isn't a matter of species, it's a matter of love. And we loved each other so much.

So this was the third day I called in sick. I got a sick leave from my doctor for Monday and Tuesday but not for this morning so I was supposed to return to school today, but I was drained and devastated, and unable to teach. And there was Loukoum to take care of.

He was better yesterday, and he seemed still on the right path this morning, but a couple of hours after Bastet's death, I noticed he had troubles walking and was very hot. He was running 40,3°C which is a very high fever (cats are supposed to be 38°C/38,5°C) so I took him back to the vet's. She gave him a shot of antiperytic and antibiotic and put him on a drip. When I took his temperature at 5 pm it was 37,8°C so the treatment worked (of course now I fear hypothermia). The vet asked me to come back tomorrow morning at 9 am to assess the situation.
I need him to hang on because that would be too much, and I don't want to go through the nightmare that was Bastet's death throes again.

So here I am. I live in grief and worry, and I'm completely exhausted.

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chani

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